More NedCan
by Little Miss Fangirl
Summary: There was once this NedCan smutweek on tumblr somewhere last year, but me being stupid I forgot to participate. I found the prompts, filled them out and dropped it here for your entertainment. They're all smutfree though, because I still can't write that. *sobs*. Canadaxfem!Ned is the pairing for all prompts. Happy reading everyone :D.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Tumblr had a NedCan smutweek going on somewhere in august last year. I wanted to join in, but I was too busy playing my Wii U and 3DS instead and completely forgot about it. So here's my fashionably late attempt to rectify things.

 **Warnings:** Basically no smut despite it being a smutweek because I can't write that to save my life. This goes for all the prompts. And hopefully an original twist to the whole overused 'oral means blowjob' thing for the first prompt. Also fem!Ned for all the prompts because the world needs more of her. I call her JOhanna, Joey for short. Also, Margot is Belgium and Henri is Luxembourg.

 **Disclaimer:** I ran out of witty stuff to say here, so I'll just say what you all already know but what I'm still denying. Not mine. =(

* * *

 **Oral**

Being overlooked has its advantages, Matthew found out. Sure, he still had to be careful not to get sat on by that huge Ivan, or convincing everyone that he's Matthew, not Alfred, when by some miracle they did notice him, but besides that it was pretty sweet. Most of the time during meetings he would just wander around, eavesdropping on interesting conversations for possible blackmail. Now don't get him wrong, he would never use it to hurt anyone. Just use that new found information to help benefit his people. And maybe himself. Okay, mostly himself. He did get a bitchin' new jeep from Alfred after promising not to reveal a certain activity Alfred likes to do every third Wednesday of the month. He smiled to himself when he remembered that, before going off to start a new round. Maybe he'd find someone who could supply him with a matching motorbike to go with his jeep.

Today was another one of those days. He made sure to leave his seat before being crushed by a Russian ass, and started his round after quickly stealing his brother's burger, enjoying the look of disbelief on Alfred's face as he looked everywhere to find his beloved junk food. He hated to admit it, but Alfred does indeed make the best burgers. Maybe that's what he should ask for next, his secret burger recipe. Or better yet, the secret Coca Cola ingredient!

He took his time, listening in every now and then, hoping for something as juicy as the burger he just finished. Unfortunately for him no such thing happened. Letting out a sigh of disappointment he walked towards the large windows, deciding to enjoy the scenery a bit until lunch would start. He could try again after that. He was about to make himself comfortable on the windowsill when he saw someone familiar in the gardens. He opened the window a bit, peeking his head out to get a better view. A smile graced his lips when he recognized the woman, and after closing the window he made his way to the gardens to join her.

He was practically skipping his way outside. The woman he saw happened to be none other than his close friend Johanna van der Meer, the personification of the Netherlands. He was already done mentally slapping himself for not noticing she had indeed been missing from her regular seat between Belgium and Luxembourg. She never forgot or overlooked him, like he just did. He vowed to make it up to her by having lunch with her, and catching up on things. Maybe he could get her to tell him what she had planned this time for the Tulip Festival.

He was now at the entrance of the gardens, and was about to call out to her, when he heard singing. Immediately he stopped In his tracks, listening in amazement. He never knew Johanna to be a singer. Hell, the woman barely even uttered a word unless it was business-related so she could make money out of it! And here he found her, singing a song to the flowers he couldn't understand in a somewhat fittingly raw, yet gentle and beautiful voice. Matthew kept on standing there for a while, but after a while he felt like he was intruding somehow, and was about to leave when the singing stopped.

"Please don't stop, Johanna." He cried out, immediately covering his mouth afterwards. Crap, crap, crap! She definitely stopped because of him, he just knows it!

"Huh? Matt, is that you? How long have you been standing there?" She said, standing up. She was wearing a sleeveless navy-blue jumpsuit, and was dusting off some dirt off her knees. Noticing it wasn't really getting rid of the grass stains she just gave up and turned her sea green eyes at him. A smile escaped her. "And I thought I told you a million times already to just call me Joey. I only get called Johanna by my siblings when they're trying to guilt trip me into buying unnecessarily expensive knickknacks for them." Okay, so maybe she was just done singing, and didn't stop because of him. He removed his hands from his mouth, feeling relieved.

"Ah, right. Sorry about that. For a second there I thought you stopped your singing because you noticed I was here and I got you out of your groove."

"Oh Matt, I'm not that easily fazed, you know. Now if you were to start stripping, however…" she said with a mischievous grin, outright laughing out loud when Matthew immediately turned red and started stuttering like nobody's business. She walked over to him, ruffling his hair. "Still so innocent when it comes to flirting. Hard to believe you're supposed to be Francis' kid."

"You seem to forget that I was still a little kid when Arthur took over. Not a lot of things would have stuck in my then 8 year old mind, you know." He huffed, removing her hand from his head.

"I know. I just like teasing you," she said, flicking his nose. "And what are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be in the meeting?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He answered, carefully rubbing his nose. "Those loudmouth idiots never pay attention to me anyway, so when I saw you out here I decided to keep you company."

"Aww, that's so sweet of you! And I basically have the same reason as you. Those loudmouth idiots up there are too self-absorbed with their own business, so instead of wasting my time getting annoyed at the situation I decided to enjoy myself with gardening."

"I guess that makes sense. Except that I don't see any gardening tools with you, and you were singing."

"That's part of my gardening routine, you know."

"What is, singing to plants?" He asked, a little confused.

"Well, yeah. Plants tend to grow better and healthier when you talk to them. But I don't have that much to talk about, so I just sing instead," she stated matter-of-factly. Matthew stared at her for a while, dumbfounded. He did remember both Francis and Arthur tell him roughly the same thing about the talking to plants part once, but singing?

"And that actually works?"

"Duh. You know how I always give you a special bouquet of tulips when I come over for the Festival? I sing to them while they grow, that's why they're more beautiful than the rest."

"I… uh….wow, I had no idea. So you have a green voice instead of green thumbs then, huh?" He immediately regretted uttering that cheesy line. "Oh God, I'm so sorry you had to hear that, just pretend I'm not here," he said, dropping himself on a bench nearby, hiding his face in his hands.

Meanwhile Johanna tried her best to not make him feel worse by holding in her laughter, failing miserably. After finally breaking down and laughing for a good minute she took a seat next to him, putting her arms around his shoulders. That seemed to surprise him, as he removed his hands from his face and looked at her, feeling his body heat up because of how close she was to him. Despite their close friendship they never really hugged that much, outside of the usual greetings and kisses on the cheek during the Tulip Festival.

"You're such a dork, you know that?" She said, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Yeah, w-well, I, uh….." He stammered. Aw geez, she was so close now he could smell her perfume. She smelled like a flower meadow. Very fitting, he thought.

"You what?" She asked, turning her head a bit to once again stare at him with those mischievous, sea green eyes. He swallowed. If he didn't know any better he could swear he was actually staring at the sea instead of her eyes.

"I…."

To this day he still doesn't know what had possessed him at that moment. Maybe it was the way she was leaning on to him. Maybe it was her intoxicating smell. Or maybe he finally saw behind the mischief in her eyes and noticed the longing behind it. Whatever it was, it made him carefully move his hand towards her face, pulling her in for a kiss. He was a little surprised (but mostly really glad) that she immediately kissed him back. Feeling a surge of bravery (or lust, most likely) course through him he managed to adjust their positions so that he was on top her, looking at her now slightly flushed face. It was an adorable sight, especially when she bit her lip, waiting on his next move. He didn't know whether to just do her right then and there or take a picture of that delightfully sexy face first. Unfortunately for the both of them he never got to make that choice.

"Maybe she's in the gardens."

"She probably is, she hates being in a stuffy room for too long."

"Are those…?" He asked, sounding disappointed.

"My siblings, yes," she sighed, reluctantly getting up and pushing Matthew off of her. "Figures they would be the ones to miss me and start searching."

"I think it's cute they were worried so much about you. Unlike my so-called sibling and parental figures."

"And I do love and appreciate them for it, believe me. I just wished they would have stayed put for today."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should have taken your phone with you, you idiot. You know how we hate it when you leave unannounced," Henri said, crossing his arms as he glared at his sister. Said sister let out an apologetic smile and pulled him into hug, ruffling his hair after letting go.

"Sorry, little guy."

"I'm not little!" He huffed, fixing his hair to its proper position.

"I bet you are sorry, sis. You were about to get down and dirty with Matthew, weren't you," Margot said, giving Matthew a knowing grin, causing him to stutter again as he tried to get himself out of this interrogation. Margot just laughed at him. Henri decided to save the poor guy from this predicament.

"No need for embarrassments, Matthew. We're all grown nations here, you can do whatever you want. Just get a room next time, or they'll arrest you public indecency or something." He said, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I, uhm…uhh…thanks, I guess. "

"I guess we should get back then, huh?"

"Henri and I will go on ahead. You two might want to freshen up before you get back though. That shade of lipstick really isn't your color, Matt."

"Pardon? Lipstick?" He rubbed his lips, and wouldn't you know it, a soft pink color showed up. Now that would have been really embarrassing.

"And you need to fix your hair, sis." Henri added.

"Thanks for the heads up, we'll be there in a minute." After Margot and Henri left Johanna turned her attention to Matthew, getting the rest of the lipstick off of him.

"I'll make sure to wear a more purple shade of lipstick next time."

"Why purple?"

"Because it matches your eyes," she said with a wink. "And then you won't need to remove it from your lips, haha." She ran her fingers through her a bit to comb it, before putting it in a loose braid.

"Not funny, Joey."

"Consider it payback for uttering that terribly cheesy green voice line earlier."

"Touché."

* * *

 **A/N:** And that's how they started dating, yay. And about that oral prompt. Oral means by use of mouth, and guess what! There was singing and kissing, both things you can do with your mouth :D. …..

I'm so sorry *bows head in shame*

Anyways. It is a known fact that plants that get talked to do grow better than plants that don't get their non-existent ears talked off. Ned really isn't the talkative type, but I do see them doing this in private, or with people who they are really close to, like siblings and lovers and really good friends. As far as singing voices go, I picture fem!Ned having one like Anouk. Look her up, she has amazing songs, and her voice, wow! Regular Ned I picture having a voice like Roger, the lead singer from Intwine. Great band with great songs, too.

Hope you enjoyed reading this, and reviews are as always appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Title says it all, really. They're goofing around outdoors.

 **Warnings:** Non-descriptive nudity, and more fem!Ned.

* * *

 **Outdoors**

"When you said we were going to the beach, this was not what I had in mind, Joey."

"I know right? This is much better!"

"But the people, I can't just-" he stammered.

"Tough luck, Canuck. Rules are rules, so you're gonna have to." Joey said with a mischievous grin, winking at him before crossing over to the specified area. Matt let out a sigh.

"Lord, give me strength."

Matthew was standing in front of the tape, separating him from his girlfriend and possibly, maybe, definitely his dignity. He never should have agreed on letting her decide on what to do on sunny days. But then again, he knew she rarely had any sunny days to enjoy at her place to begin with, so he felt bad for her. Stupid empathy always getting in the way. Said girlfriend had found them a nice place on a reasonable distance from both the sea and the snack bar in the meantime, and was setting up everything before calling him over.

"Come on Matt, don't be shy. It'll be fun, trust me!" She was jumping up and down, waving at him. She looked so happy and excited. Matthew mentally slapped himself, straightening his back and tossing his duffel bag over his shoulder before crossing over as well.

' _It will be okay.'_ He reassured himself. _'Everybody else here is the same, so we won't stand out. Oh, what the hell am I saying, I'm Matthew Williams! People wouldn't notice me if I was made from diamonds and handed out cold hard cash! I'll be fine!'_ And with that he lost all his nervousness, greeting Joey with a genuine smile when he got to her.

"Now that's more like it! You set up your things as well, and I'll get changed, okay?"

"Gotcha."

He turned around and put his own towel next to Joey's. He then rummaged around in his bag and grabbed two cans of beer and a book he planned on reading later. After putting everything in place he turned around, offering one of the cans to her.

"Wanna have a drink first or do you feel like-sweet mother of God."

"What? I'm not showing any tan lines, am I?" A slightly worried look crept on her face as she looked down on her body. Matt's face meanwhile was getting redder by the second. He's seen this sight so many times, but damn it if it still doesn't get him all fired up every single time.

"I…."

"Well?"

"Uh… no. No, you don't have tan lines." He finally managed to bring out.

"Oh, good. I hate tan lines. They look so tacky. And if it's alright with you I'd like to go for a quick swim first. Wanna join me?"

"Gee, I don't know. We ate before we came here, and you know what they say about eating and swimming."

"Matt, we ate at breakfast, and that was two hours ago." She said, giggling at his excuses. "But I won't force you. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes, and you'd better be in a more appropriate getup by then, you hear?" She gave him a quick peck on his cheek before running off towards the sea.

Matthew watched her go, enjoying the view of her well-proportioned, if a bit flat, derrière. Just thinking about the things he would, could and did do to said derrière was making his swim shorts tighten. He quickly covered his growing problem with his book, even though he knew no one was paying attention to him. Better safe than sorry and all that. He wondered if he should indeed slip out of his trunks and join her for a swim. And who knows, maybe they could do something besides swimming. He felt his trunks tighten again.

"Guess it can't be helped then," he sighed, getting up. He took another glance around him, and after once again making sure no one was looking at his direction, he dropped his trunks, shoved it to the side and quickly dashed his way across the beach towards the sea, where Joey was already at. Biting back a few curses because of the cold water hitting him he decided to completely go under for a few seconds to get used to the water temperature. When he rose up again and got his hair out of his face he was greeted by the smiling face of his girlfriend.

"Glad to see you joining me," she said, splashing some water at him.

"Yeah, I'd rather be here splashing at you than have a beer by myself." He said, splashing back.

"Plus, it's much easier to hide your boner this way too, right?"

"You know me too well."

"Haha, that I do. And if you want, I know this little hidden cavern for us to visit so we can take care of that problem."

* * *

 **A/N:** They took care of that problem, played some volleyball, rubbed some sunblock on each other, ate junk food, enjoyed the sunset and then went home. The end :D.

God, if I wasn't such a hopeless hack you'd get some outdoorsy sex on the beach right now. One of these days I'll get drunk for real and then write it down.

In my headcanon Ned has no tanlines because (s)he tans completely nekkid in the backyard whenever the sun decides to show up. Aint nobody got time to be paying money to go to a tanningsalon anyway :P.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated :D.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Third prompt is 'Canada tops'. I could be really predictable and make him be this sexy, suave mofo with Ned swooning over him like a lovestruck maiden, but where's the fun in that?

 **Warnings:** I reread that last sentence. It does sound pretty funny. I'm rolling wit it :D. Also, Johanna being a dense dork and not knowing at first when her boyfriend is trying to get in her pants. It's the Germanic genes :P.

* * *

It was just another typical workday. She was sitting behind her desk, minding her own business, making lots of money, doodling funny faces of her loved ones. At 10.45 precisely she wanted to go outside for a quick smoke and a cup of coffee and send Matthew a sweet text he could read when he woke up like always, when someone opened the door to her office and let themselves in. Johanna looked up from her paperwork, noticing Matthew in the doorway.

"Mornin', beautiful," she heard him say as he walked over to her and leaned over her desk. Something in his tone seemed different somehow. He looked a little different from usual too, she noticed as he reached out a hand and caressed her face before lifting her chin a bit so he could get a better look at her. He wasn't wearing his glasses, for one. His shirt wasn't completely buttoned up, showing his pecks. And what was the deal with those low riding jeans, goddamn. Any lower and he might as well not wear them at all! She swallowed a bit as she tried to get those thoughts out of her head. She had a strict 'no naughty fun times before lunch' policy. At work anyway.

"I, uh, good morning, Matt. I wasn't expecting you, to be honest. Is there a reason you're here?" She asked after the initial surprise of seeing him wore off.

"Do I need a reason to visit my lovely, hardworking girlfriend and take her out for a well-deserved break?" He replied, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"At the risk of sounding like a killjoy, yeah, you kind of do. You seriously flew all the way from your place to mine just to go on my break with me? I mean, not that I mind at all, I love seeing you and mmph!"

Matthew let out a little laugh during her monologue before closing the gap between them and kissing her, cutting the rest of her sentence off. He smiled at her flushed face after breaking the kiss, rubbing his thumb over her lower lip.

"I happened to be at Arthurs place for business, and decided to surprise you with a visit after everything was said and done. And even if I hadn't been so close by…" He moved his way over to her chair, and carefully moved himself so that he was straddling her without crushing her legs, before holding her face in his hands again. "…I'd gladly travel to the ends of the world and back again, just to see your lovely smile."

"Matt, I...I'm…" She could just feel her face getting redder by the second. What the hell was going on here? Matthew was never this smooth! Well, not unless he had downed at least three bottles of wine, anyway. But he didn't taste or smell like alcohol. Wait, didn't he say he came from Arthur? Oh, dammit all, that had to be it. Arthur screwed up again, didn't he? She should probably tell him and get him somewhere until she could get a hold of Arthur so he can fix this mess. If only Matthew would stop kissing her down her throat and feeling her up under her top. Wait a minute, how and when did he get her out of her blazer?! How long has she been internally monologing?!

"Matt, wait a sec, I need to tell you something and ohmygooooddd!" He had gently bitten the side of her neck, and was working his way up to her earlobe. Sneaky bastard.

"What is it, my love?" He whispered, in between another bite and a kiss. "Do you not like it? If that's the case, all you have to do is say the word and I'll stop."

"I'm… I-I…" Did she want him to stop? "Uhm…" She wasn't sure. Well, to be honest, she absolutely loved the way he was taking charge. It was nice to just follow the lead for once. But he's under influence right now, it wouldn't really be fair to take advantage of this and… Oh, for fucks sake, how is she expected to think straight when he's working that mouth of his on her like that and this chilly breeze dancing on her legs? Wait, what? He got her out of her pants already?! She really needs to stop internally monologing that long. Or at least keep paying some attention at her surroundings during it.

"Joey." He whispered again in her ear, snapping her out of her thoughts. "I can tell you're not really here with your mind right now. Any suggestions on what I can do to change that?" He was caressing her face again, and his other hand was resting on her hip. He was looking her directly in the eyes with a mixture of both desire, love and a little bit of mischief, and Joey found it impossible to look away. She reached out her own hand and pulled him in for a kiss of her own, finally giving him an answer after breaking the kiss when she felt him smiling against her lips.

"I don't want you to stop, Matt. I was having a little debate on how to properly respond to that slightly uncharacteristic behavior of yours, but I'm done with that now. Just let me send my secretary home for the day, and then you can carry on where you left off." She wanted to do just that, but Matthew kept her firmly in her place.

"Matt?"

"No need for that anymore, love. I already told her she could leave for the day before I walked in here."

"Oh?" Part of her wanted to be mad at him for just assuming she would just play along and send her home anyway, but a much bigger part was actually really glad he thought that far ahead.

"Yup. No one will be bothering us for the rest of the day," he said with a smirk, leaning in to kiss her again.

It was a good thing her secretary was indeed gone and they were alone in the building, otherwise Laura would have her ass for smoking inside. But she couldn't help it, she needed her after-sex smoke.

"You really should stop smoking, love." Matthew said, grabbing the cigarette from her hand and taking a drag of it himself. Joey just glared at him before rolling her eyes and snuggled up against him.

"I'll stop smoking when you stop eating maple syrup."

"Hell no." He replied, putting an arm around her.

"Exactly. And you seem to be getting back to your usual self again. What kind of spell was Arthur practicing anyway?"

"He wasn't practicing anything."

"Huh?" Johanna removed herself from Matt's embrace, giving him a confused look. "But you were so… so…"

"Suave as fuck instead of my usual easygoing self?" He finished, laughing.

"Well, yeah," she replied, still giving him a questioning look. "You weren't acting like your usual self, and you said you came from Arthur, so I assumed he messed up his magic again and enhanced your French side or something. That's why I was so out of it at first. I felt like I would be taking advantage of you somehow."

"That's very considerate of you, love, haha. And you aren't completely off with your guess of my French side being enhanced."

"So, what happened then?"

"I finished my business with Arthur, and was on my way to the airport, where I saw Francis. We had a little talk, a little drink and the next thing I know it was the next day. We went back to Arthur, I showered, changed my clothes and made my way over here. And you know the rest."

"You go out drinking with Francis and you become this suave mofo?"

"Pretty much. The longer I hang out with just him, the stronger my French side becomes."

"Really now. Huh. Well, in that case, you should definitely hang out with your Papa more often."

"You like that, huh?"

"I like that a lot."

* * *

 **A/N:** Plottwist, there was no magic, haha. Except for the magic that is Francis and his French suaveness.

And in case you're wondering, it also works the same with Arthur. Matthew becomes a much nicer version of Arthur, a perfect gentleman with proper etiquette and everything. Alfred isn't like that, he's way too independent to be influenced anymore by those two.

Whenever the Germanics get together they become this superefficient machine and shit gets done in like five minutes. They would like to handle meetings this way too, but the others still don't trust the Germanics enough to leave them in charge of everything.

My headcanon is that fem!Ned still tops most of the time, because she's a controlfreak and loves to be in charge, even when Canada is involved. She's slowly getting better though and actually really loves it when Matt takes charge.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Ah, romantic evenings. With the candle lights and the soft music and the rose petals on the bed. And the fact that Ned can't plan them for shit :D.

 **Warnings:** Ned trying to be romantic and failing at it, so she gets some help from an outside source. This prompt takes place somewhere before they get together. I tried to find out how Kumajirou usually speaks, but I couldn't find it at the moment, so I'll just have him be snarky and a little bratty with Matt, and a bit nicer with Johanna. Also, lots of talking between Kuma and Joey.

* * *

 **Romantic evening**

"You're pretty much my last hope now, Kumajirou," Johanna said, scratching him behind his ears. Kuma leaned into her touch, letting out a satisfied growl. She smiled at that, Kuma seemed almost like a purring cat when he was like this. She pulled him onto her lap, and continued her handiwork.

"What do you need, miss Tulip?"

"You've been with Matthew-"

"Who?"

"Your owner, Canada. He also goes by the name Matthew."

"Oh, him. Yeah, whatever."

"Indeed, him." She smiled, chuckling a bit. "You've been with him all his life, you know him better than anyone."

"I guess I do," he replied, closing his eyes again. "Hey, miss Tulip, feed me some of that herring you brought."

"Sure. And I'll give you even more if you can tell me what Matthew-"

"Who?"

"Your owner, Canada. I need to know what he likes and dislikes, so I can plan a romantic evening for him."

"Why not ask the caterpillar brows and the scruffy beard with the pretty hair?"

"And be in their debt? Hell no. Plus, they don't like me enough to help me woo their kid."

"How about the loudmouth down south?"

"I'm sure he's a nice kid, but he gets on my nerves with said loud mouth. I'd probably punch him."

"He'd let you do something stupid anyway. Like get him to a football game and then putting him on the spot by getting him on the big screen. Don't do that by the way. He doesn't like being in the spotlight."

"No spotlights, got it. Anything else?"

"He loves the flowers you send him every year. He loves nature in general. Work with that."

"I hear they opened a botanical garden nearby, we could visit that."

"Sounds lovely. Herring me please, miss Tulip."

"Lovely indeed. Here. Okay, onwards to food. What does he like besides pancakes and maple syrup?"

"French cuisine. Game. Hamburgers. High tea. And the usual stuff like Chinese and Italian. Oh and red wine. Lots and lots of red wine."

"Really? He seemed more of a beer guy to me."

"He only really drinks beer during hockey season, otherwise he prefers wine. Speaking of hockey, he's crazy about that dumb game. Try reading up on that, he'll probably talk your ears off about that at some point."

"Crap, I totally forgot about conversation topics. I don't know shit about ice hockey, but I do know field hockey. Isn't that mostly the same thing?"

"Not even close, miss Tulip. Read up on it."

"You're right, better safe than sorry. What else does he like?"

"Those weird animated shows with the dumb hair on everyone. Anime, they're called? He especially loves Naruto. He's better off watching Degrassi, if you ask me. Way better plot."

"Haha, you're probably right. I know plenty about anime, thankfully. What about music and dancing? What genre does he like?"

"Mostly rock, jazz, ballads, chansons. Classical music, too. Pop music so he can dance to that. He's terrible at it by the way. Don't make him dance anything but the waltz or any other classical ballroom dance. Trust me."

"Ballroom dancing huh? Being a kingdom I had to learn all those dances too. That could be a fun thing to do."

"And if all else fails you can always go see a movie or something. I hope you like horror movies, because he had to hold his brothers hands through so many of them he actually ended up liking them. Oh, and more herring, if you would be so kind."

"Here you go. And thank you for your help, Kuma. I think I know what to do when I ask him out."

"Great! Mind filling me in so I know how to dress that day?"

Johanna had almost dropped Kuma off her lap, but quickly caught him before he'd hit the floor and injure himself. After apologizing for handling him so rough and giving him the rest of the herring she turned to face Matthew, who was still standing in the doorway, giving her a charming smile. She tried not to blush too much, praying that he didn't hear everything she had discussed.

"Gah! Matt! How long how you been there?!"

"Pretty much since the beginning." Well, so much for that prayer, she thought before grabbing a little pillow off the couch and lying down, hiding her face behind it. She heard Matthew laugh again as he made his way to her and sat down next to her.

"I heard everything, and it all sounds very fun to do. But I doubt you can put everything into one date. But we can do the rest on the other dates, if you want." Hold on a sec. Did she hear that right? He's already talking about other dates?

She slowly stood up and put the pillow on her lap.

"You… you really want to go out with me?" She asked, still nervous. He smiled as he nodded.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? You're a good person, a great friend, and Kumajingles really likes you, too. I feel honored that you even thought of asking me out." His smile turned into a full-blown grin, and he was blushing as well. That sight made Joey blush more in turn as well.

"Don't say that, Matt. You're the sweetest, kindest, strongest guy I know. Who wouldn't want to go out with you? I should feel honored that you'd accept."

"Aw geez, you're making me blush. I just-"

"Get a room already, you two!" Kumajirou said from the kitchen. "I can feel the heat from your blushing all the way from here. Any more of that and I can start making herring smores!"

"Don't you dare, Kuma! I won't have you defile my herring like that!"

"Then stop blushing and ask him out, miss Tulip. You already know he'll accept, stop being so nervous."

"Yeah, well, I… urgh. Never thought I'd see the day that I'd accept love advice from a polarbear." She turned to face Matthew, scooting a bit closer to him. "Matthew, will you go on a date with me?"

He reached out a hand and grabbed hers, squeezing it. "I'd love to."

* * *

 **A/N:** They ended up iceskating, picnicking at the park and then watching a movie that night in the same park with other people.

And Joey came off way shyer than I expected. I did want her to be a little shy because this was supposed to be the first time any one of them would ask the other out. But this works too. I have a feeling that she could have saved herself plenty of trouble if she had asked either one of Matt's relatives, or her own. Hell, even reading a random Cosmo would have done it :P. She's stubborn like that, but it worked out in the end, so yay. Kuma is the best wingbear.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I guess you could say that all the stories so far have been nyotalia because Ned is officially a dude. But you should know by now that I won't let that stop me :P.

 **Warnings:** This one will be the classical switching genders story. Ned will be a dude for this one, and Matt will be a lady.

* * *

 **Nyotalia**

Johanna and Matthew stared each other down, still trying to process what the hell just happened. One minute they were just walking down the hall after lunchbreak to rejoin the others for the meeting, and the next thing they know they get hit by a flash of light, and now…

"Matt, you… you're…"

"And you! Y-you…"

"ARTHUR!" They both yelled before making their way towards the meeting, with Johanna kicking down the door, making the rest of the room jump in their seats. Ludwig stood up and wanted give the two nations a peace of his mind for destroying public property like that, but when he took a good look at them he was at a loss for words.

"I… you… what the hell happened?" He asked, unable to keep his eyes off of them.

"What the hell does it look like?! It's Arthur and his shitty magic!" She yelled, ignoring him and making her way over to the Brit. Said Brit noticed the murderous aura surrounding her, and immediately made his way over to Johanna's siblings, hiding behind them.

"And get the hell away from my siblings you bastard, before you do something to them as well!"

"And risk getting caught and keelhauled by you, my dear? I think not." He said, pulling Margot and Henri close to him. "This wasn't even my fault anywaaargh!"

"You know, it's at times like these I really appreciate that I get overlooked a lot," Matthew said with a grin as he pulled Arthur away from the remaining Benelux siblings and held him in a headlock. "And because you were my caretaker and I still love you I'll be generous and give you five minutes to explain yourself and fix this mess, otherwise I'll hand you over to Johanna to do with you as she pleases," he finished, before releasing Arthur. Arthur gulped a little as he watched Johanna join Matthew, that murderous glare still in her eyes.

"I-I understand. And like I said, it wasn't my fault. That irresponsible Alfred took my wand and started waving it around. If anything, you should be directing that keelhauling gaze at him!"

"Don't go blaming it on my brother, Arthur."

"Exactly, you know how the guy is. It's your own fault for bringing that stupid thing to a meeting anyway. Now change us back!"

"Yeaaah, about that…" he stammered as he averted his eyes, rubbing the back of his head.

"Arthur, you'd better not tell me this is permanent or so help me God I'll end you." Johanna began cracking her knuckles, making Arthur hide himself behind Margot and Henri again.

"No, no, not at all! I can fix this! Just not right now. I need to recharge my wand, and unfortunately that takes some time."

"How much time?" Matthew asked, getting a little worried.

"About a week."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. This isn't the first time I had to recharge my wand, it never takes longer than a week."

"A week I can handle. How about you, Matt?"

"A week is not so bad. I'll manage."

A sigh of relief escaped Arthur. "So happy to hear you say that. Now, if you'll excuse me I'll go back to my seeeeek!" Johanna had made her way over to him, grabbing him by his arm and pulling him back. Arthur was about to beg for her to not hit his face, when he felt her release him again. "I, uh…huh? Why did you pull me back?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Matt and I can't really fit into our clothes anymore, so we'll be needing a new wardrobe. Which you'll be paying for," she said with a grin as she waved his credit card in front of him.

"O-oh. I guess I understand that. Thank goodness you're thrifty, then, right? Ahaha."

"Matt, who's your favorite designer? I bet you'd look amazing in an Oscar de la Renta outfit." Johanna said, reaching out her arm for Matthew to take.

"Oh God, I love Oscar! And I saw this gorgeous suit by Marc Jacobs, it would look killer on you." Matthew replied as he hooked arms with her, walking out the meeting.

"Ahaha…aha.. Oh God, they're going to bankrupt me."

* * *

"We're not really gonna buy those expensive brands, are we?"

"Why not? If we're gonna look like this for a week, we might as well do it in style, haha."

"You've got a point there. But still. I can't do that to Arthur."

"Oh Matt, you're too good for this world."

"Tell me about it, haha."

They made their way towards the nearest shopping mall, entering the first shop that sells clothes, ignoring the stares they were getting from everyone. One of the employees made his way over to them, unsure on how to greet them. The couple sure looked… interesting, to say the least. The woman, with the long, wavey, honey blonde hair was wearing an oversized, grey suit. The man on the other hand, oh boy. He was really tall, barefoot, wearing a slightly ripped skirt that was way too tight on him and his torso was covered somewhat by a sleeveless blouse, showing off his chest. If he had to guess he'd say that they must have attended a really wild party last night and ended up in each other's clothes somehow.

"U-uhm, excuse me. Can I help you?" He asked.

"We would like some clothes that actually fit us." Johanna said with a grin.

"And could you please direct me to the underwear section, I really could use a bra." Matthew added, using his hands to support his rather ample bosom, making the employee blush.

"I-I… uh,, of course, miss. I'll go get a female colleague for you. And if you'd be so kind to follow me, sir."

After getting some clothes with the help of the employees the two of them entered a changing room together.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather get a room of your own?" Matthew asked as he turned his back to her while putting on his new hipster. He saw Johanna wearing them all the time, and figured they would now look just as cute on him as they did on her.

"I'm sure, Matt. It's not like we haven't been in a changing room together before, haha." She replied as she stepped into a new pair of boxers of her own. Ah, so much better than that tight hipster she had on before.

"True enough. But I didn't have to ask you to fasten my bra for me those previous times." He pulled his hair to the side, giving Johanna access. She did as she was asked before putting Matts hair into a braid.

"So it won't get in your face too much."

"Thanks," he smiled, turning around and putting his hands into Johanna's now short hair. "I have to say though, you look really handsome as a guy. So tall and muscular and with an amazing ass."

"And you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. With that soft and curvy body of yours." She replied, pulling him closer to her. "It really makes me want to…"

"Wah!" Matthew suddenly pushed himself away.

"Whoa! What is it?!" Johanna said, surprised.

"I think I felt your boner. Sorry I got so jumpy. But it felt really weird in this body." He said with an apologetic smile.

"Boner? Really? Never mind, I can see it now. I'm really sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to startle you." Matthew shook his head.

"Don't be. It's just as weird for you as for me. I understand."

"Thanks, Matt. So, what do you say? Wanna get dressed, leave this place and get to re-discover our bodies again?" Matthew smiled before he leaned forward and kissed her.

"I'm all for it."

* * *

 **A/N:** You'd think they'd be more in shock or something, but they know Arthur and his mishaps with magic, so in the end it wasn't that big a deal for them.

I really liked this one. I think I'll do a more in-depth story with this at a later point. It'll be fun to think of more shenanigans for them to run into :D.

And because Matt is so nice they did indeed end up buying non-luxury brands. But they did spend one night at the most expensive five star hotel they could find. Arthur learned his lesson and never took his wand with him to meetings ever again.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated :D.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Threesomes are my guilty pleasure. What's better than seeing your OTP? Your OT3, the more the merrier, right *winkwinknudgenudge*.

 **Warnings:** Basically just talks about threesomes and what our couple thinks of them.

* * *

 **Threesome**

"Well, that sure was something," Matthew said as he walked into the living room and dropped himself on the couch, where Johanna joined him shortly after, offering him a cup of hot chocolate, which he gladly accepted.

"What was?" She asked, grabbing the remote and zapping channels to find something good for them to watch.

"I told you I had lunch with Francis this afternoon, right?"

"Yeah, what about it? Didn't it go as planned?"

"Well, yes and no. We were just talking and enjoying our wine when he saw an old acquaintance of his. He invited him over, and we had some interesting conversations about pretty much everything."

"That sounds nice. But judging by your tone something not so nice happened later on?"

"Sort of. Somewhere along the line the topic somehow switched to sex, and..."

"But of course," Johanna said, grinning as she took a sip. "Francis embarrassed you with tales of his sexcapades, am I right?"

"You're right," he admitted, his face turning a bit red. "Turns out his acquaintance was also one of his bedpartners and I heard more than I ever wanted to know."

"Aww, you poor thing. Pffft, hahaha!"

"It's not funny, Joey. I'll be having inappropriate thoughts for months now whenever I see Francis. And if that wasn't bad enough they told me that if I ever wanted to have a threesome with them I should hit them up. I didn't know how to respond to that so I just told them I was already involved with you, and then Francis said that a foursome wouldn't be a problem either. The more the merrier and all that. I never felt like disappearing more!" He huffed, chugging down the rest of his drink.

"Hmmm." He heard Joey say, causing him to lift an eyebrow in surprise.

"Oh God, please don't tell me you're considering it."

"Maaaybe," she said with a wink. "How did that friend of Francis look? Hehe." She dodged the pillow Matthew threw at her, and threw another pillow back at him. Matthew rolled his eyes at her, before pulling her towards him and watching the rest of whatever show was on TV with her.

* * *

As they left the bathroom that evening after brushing their teeth and made themselves comfortable under the covers, Johanna asked Matthew a question.

"Matt?"

"Yes?"

"If you hadn't blacked out when they asked you for that threesome, what would you have said?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to know how you feel about threesomes."

"Where did this come from all of a sudden?" He sat up, giving her a confused look. Johanna sat up as well, grabbing his hands and squeezing them.

"We've been together for a while now, and I'd like to think we know what we do and do not like in the bedroom, but I don't think we've ever really discussed threesomes before. Because I…" She fell silent for a bit before letting out a sigh. She straightened her back and looked him in the eye, continuing her tale. "Because even though I joked about it before, I don't like the idea of having to share you with another person. Just thinking about the fact that someone else would be touching you, kissing you, holding you… God, it makes me so furious!"

"Wow, Joey. I had no idea." Matthew gently squeezed her hands back.

"But if it's something you enjoy, then I… then I guess I can try to enjoy myself too. For you. And I-eh?" Joey found herself in Matthews embrace, feeling his hands stroke her hair and back. "Matt?"

"I can't stand the thought of someone else putting their hands on you either." He said, pulling her closer. Joey hugged him back. "And even if I did enjoy threesomes, I'd never go through with them whilst knowing how much it would hurt you."

"Oh, Matt. Thank you for saying that."

"Thank you for being honest with me," he said, smiling. "I find it really cute to finally know that you can get jealous, haha."

"Yeah, well, I'm not particularly fond of feeling like that, so don't go around doing stuff to get me jealous on purpose."

"How can I? You were willing to participate in something you hated just because you thought that it would make me happy. I'd have to be a real jerk to get you to feel jealous again. Even if I do think it makes you look really adorable when you're clinging to me like this. Ouch! You bit me!"

"I don't like being called adorable, either."

"Okay, what should I say then?"

"Charming is good. And badass. And marvelous. And gorgeous."

"Don't forget humble and modest."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"I wouldn't dare."

* * *

 **A/N:** Look at them dorks being cute together, d'aww.

I have this headcanon that Ned is actually quite promiscuous while not being in a committed relationship, but the moment they're involved with someone they're the most loyal, loving significant other ever, and can get pretty jealous when someone else want a piece of their lover. Ned doesn't like to share.

Matthew I picture as being too self-conscious to be comfortable with more than a twosome. He either wouldn't know how to properly distribute his attention equally (because he'd hate it if he felt that he was leaving someone out) or he'd feel he wouldn't belong because the other two are clearly enjoying themselves, what else could he possible contribute? He could do it if the third person was someone he's also comfortable with, but seeing as they tend to be family and Matt can't bring himself to get close with them like that. It's complicated for the guy.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** This last prompt is supposed to be about you own kink, but I don't think I have any. I do have plenty of guilty pleasures though. I guess I'll just write about something from that huge list :D.

 **Warnings:** A Red Riding Hood story, woo! I love fairytale themed stories, and RRH is one of my faves. Pretty much weirdness and crack with some fluff. Happy reading!

* * *

 **Red Riding Hood**

"Do you have everything put in you basket, honey?"

"Yes, mother. A big pan of pasta, a couple slices of pepperoni pizza, a bottle of wine, and for dessert my famous stroopwafels."

"Excellent. Your grandmother will be back to her feet in no time after eating all that."

"Otherwise that deep sleep that she will be in after finishing the entire bottle of wine will do the trick, hehe."

"Oh, Johanna, don't say that. Grandma doesn't drink that much."

"Right, and I bought this bitchin' red riding hood with my own money, instead of the money I got from bringing those empty glass bottles to the recycling plant." She said with a mischievous grin, dodging the smack her mother wanted to give her upside her head.

"You're definitely your grandmothers grandchild alright, good grief. Now hurry up, and remember…"

"I know, mother. Don't stray off the path, don't talk to strangers, don't punch people who try to tap my shoulders from behind to get my attention to ask me directions."

"Yes, good girl. Tell grandma I said hi."

"Will do. I love you, mother."

"I love you too, honey."

* * *

Johanna made her way down the road to her grandmother's house. Despite the jokes she made about her to her mother she did love her grandma very much. She was a very funny and caring person, if you looked past that grumpy façade and foul mouth. And she did become a hell of a lot nicer ever since she met that huntsman. Hopefully he would visit today too, she always loved making him uncomfortable by calling him grandpa and asking him when he would pop the question to grandma. Maybe she should visit his house first, so they could go together.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the person in front of her, and bumped into them, almost dropping her basket.

"Whoa, whoa! Oh, thank goodness, I saved the basket, grandma would have killed me otherwise. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even check to see how you are doing. Everything alright?" She put the basket down before rushing over to the one still laying on the floor, carefully helping them sit up.

"Oww, my back," she heard him say as he got up, carefully rubbing it.

"I really am sorry, I was so lost in thought that I didn't see you."

"O-oh, that's quite alright. Not a lot of people notice me anyway," He said in a soft voice, pulling his red hoodie closer over his eyes.

"That's no excuse, I should have paid better attention. Hold on a sec." She rushed over to the basket, and grabbed a few stroopwafels. She then made her way back to the guy, putting the sweets into his hands.

"Here, take these as an apology, I made them myself."

"I, uh. Thank you, miss. What are these?"

"Stroopwafels. They were supposed to be for my grandma, but she won't notice a few missing ones."

"Are you sure it's alright? I don't want you getting in trouble." He asked, a slightly worried tone in his voice.

"I insist you take them. And seriously, don't worry about the sweets, I always eat a couple on my way over anyway, she won't notice."

"Oh. Well, if that's the case then I'll gladly dig in. Thank you, miss!" He smiled a genuine smile before shoving a stroopwafel into his mouth. A look of heavenly bliss suddenly adorned his face as he swallowed it down, and he grabbed Johanna's hands, pulling her close to him.

"By everything that is holy! Miss, that was the single most delicious thing I have ever tasted!" He said, his violet eyes beaming with pleasure.

"Glad to hear you like it," she replied with a smile. "I decided to mix things up and used maple syrup instead of regular syrup this time."

"Would it be a bother to you if I asked for a little more of that heavenly treat?" He pleaded. Johanna had wanted to refuse at first, because she wanted to keep some of it for her grandma. And okay, for herself too. But the guy had such an adorable, puppy like look in his eyes as he pleaded. She could not bring herself to refuse him. A little sigh escaped her.

"Sure, I'll go get you some more. But the rest is for my grandmother."

"Of course, miss, I understand." He said, a relieved smile on his face. "Thank you."

"No problem. Here you go." She handed him some more stroopwafels, picking up her basket and making her way over to her grandma. Before she walked away from the mysterious man though, she crouched down next to him, reaching out a hand.

"I just realized that we didn't even properly introduced ourselves. My name is Johanna."

"Goodness, how rude of me! My name is Matthew, miss Johanna. It was a real pleasure meeting you." He said, grabbing her hand and planting a kiss on the back of it, causing her to blush.

"I-I, uhm. N-nice to meet you too, Matthew." She wanted to get up and continue her journey, but found that Matthew was still holding her hand. "Matthew? Would you mind letting my hand go? I need to hurry to my grandmother."

"My apologies, miss Johanna. I couldn't bring myself to release these beautiful, skillful hands just yet. I didn't mean to keep you from your visit." He let go of her hand, and took a step back.

"Uh, right. I'm off then. I guess I'll see you around, Matthew. Have a nice day!" Johanna continued on her way, turning around one final time to wave goodbye before she disappeared into the woods. When Matthew saw her enter the woods he immediately dashed in after her. He couldn't let her go anymore, not after finding something... no. After finding someone so sweet.

* * *

After another twenty minutes of walking and pondering about the strange guy she met Johanna had finally arrived at her grandmas cottage. She quickly fixed her hood and dusted a little dirt of her dress before knocking on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, grandma! Your favorite granddaughter in the world!"

"Johanna, my dear! Come in, come in!"

Johanna opened the door and entered the cottage, closing the door behind her. She then took of her red hood, putting it away. After quickly running her hands through her ash brown hair and fixing it up a bit she took the basket into her hands again, walking into the kitchen to prepare her grandma her meal.

"I hope you're hungry, grams. Mom made your favorite dish, and I brought your favorite dessert, with a little twist of my own."

"A twist, huh? What might that be?"

"You'll find out soon enough, and I promise you'll love it."

"Sounds exciting, I can't wait."

She put the final touches on the food, before taking the tray to her grandmas room. It was a bit darker than she remembered it, but then again, the curtains were closed, so that explained that. At least she had a lit candle next to her bed. But what was up with that light making grams look so weird?

"Do you want me to open the curtains, grams?"

"Oh no, dear, thank you. I have a little headache, I prefer it dark for now."

"Sure. And here you go, one homemade meal with lots of love in it so you can get better again. Bon appetite!"

"Thank you, dear. Care to join me?"

"Nah, I'm good. I already ate a little of that dessert on my way here. And I hope you don't mind, but I also gave some of it to a guy I bumped into as an apology."

"I don't mind at all, dear. How was he like?"

"He was nice. A little bit weird, but nice."

"W-weird? How so?"

"He wasn't weird in a weird way. Not at first anyway. He kissed my hand as he thanked me for the sweets."

"That sounds romantic."

"It was, I didn't mind that. But when I wanted to leave he said that he didn't want to let go of my beautiful and skillful hands. It creeped me out a little, to be honest."

"O-oh. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, dear."

"You think so, grams?"

"I'm sure. He was probably enchanted by your kind nature and beautiful eyes. And why shouldn't he be?"

"You know, you might be on to something, grams. I wish I could see him again to ask him myself if he indeed feels that way."

"R-really now? What would you say then, exactly?"

"Well," she said, as she leaned closer, "first I'd ask him what the hell he was thinking when he broke into grams' house and impersonated her."

"W-what?"

"And then I'd tell him that he has exactly ten seconds to tell me what he did to her before I skin him and wear his skin as my new hood."

"W-wait a sec, I did-urk!" He found himself with the sharp end of a knife against his throat, preventing him from speaking. Johanna seemed to notice that too, but before she removed the knife she jumped onto the bed, putting her legs on either side of his arms and sitting on his stomach, preventing him from any movements.

"Ten seconds, scumbag." She hissed.

"There was no-one here when I came! Your grams left a note that the huntsman came and took her to some sort of spa for a week! Please don't skin me!"

"Where is the note?"

"Under the pillow!"

Johanna quickly checked, and did indeed find a note in her grandmas handwriting, describing what Matthew had just said. She let out an annoyed sigh. Of course that idiot huntsman forgot to inform her and her mother, she could have spent the rest of the day in the garden instead of coming here!

"Your story checks out so far. But that still doesn't explain why you did what you did. If you did indeed find me so beautiful, why didn't you just tell me before I left? We could have planned for a date and then you wouldn't have to be stuck in this mess!"

"Well, if I'm perfectly honest I don't really mind the position I'm in right now," he said, trying to break the tension with a little joke. Johanna was having none of it, though.

"Don't be a smartass, smartass. What if grams was home? What is the huntsman was here? He would have killed you were you stand!"

"If they were here then I would have waited until you'd leave and meet you at the same place as this afternoon. And then I would have told you about how I feel about you. I can't bring myself to be without you anymore. I need you."

Johanna let out a sigh at hearing that. "Aren't you being a little dramatic, Matthew? We only talked for like five minutes and I gave you sweets, that's it. How is that a strong enough base for a happily ever after?" Sure, it was kind of sweet that she left such a strong impression on him, but it was definitely not enough for a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

"Well, they do say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and trust me, you got that part in the bag already."

"Are you sure you aren't just in love with my baking?"

"That may be what started it, but your kind heart is what sealed the deal. I knew it the moment I kissed your hand."

"Exactly. You knew it. Not me. Who says I feel the same way?"

"Only you can say that in the end, of course. And I would be really happy if you did feel that way. But I know I can't force you. And I deeply apologize for breaking into your grandmother's house and scaring you. I know I have no right to be even asking you this now, but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me let me make it up to you I would really appreciate it. Please, Johanna."

He was sincere, she could tell. She closed her eyes for a bit, thinking it over. After an agonizingly long time (in Matthews opinion, anyway) she finally opened her eyes and removed herself from him. Matthew was strangely disappointed by that. She reached out her hand, and Matthew gladly took it.

"I don't know if I can forgive you just yet. Breaking and entering is a pretty serious offence." She started, and Matthew felt his heart drop. "But I am willing to give you a chance to redeem yourself and make it up to me. Starting by helping me clean the mess in here up." She finished with a smile, and just like that Matthews spirit was lifted. He pulled Johanna into a hug.

"Thank you, Johanna. I won't betray your trust."

* * *

After they were done cleaning the cottage and finished the rest of the goodies in the basket Johanna stood up to leave for home again. Matthew walked her part of way.

"May I ask you something, Johanna? How did you know I wasn't your grandma?"

"You were way too nice, really," she said with a chuckle. "Grams can't say anything nice without calling me a bratty little kid, haha. Oh, no need to look so shocked, it's just how she is. And I wouldn't have her any other way."

"I-I see. And who taught you how to handle a knife like that?"

"The huntsman. He would've been my grandpa already, but I think grams has commitment issues. But she did go to that spa with him, so maybe she finally changed her mind."

"Maybe." He said, smiling. "Does he make her happy?"

"Happier than I've seen her in a long time." Johanna mused.

They continued their walk until they reached a fork in the road.

"You know, I never even asked about your situation. Where do you live? Do you have a family too? What do you do when you're not bumping into me?"

"I… don't really live anywhere. And I may have had a family once, but I've been alone for such a long time that I don't remember anything about them. Also people tend to overlook me for some reason, so I take advantage of that and I, uh, well…"

"Yes?"

"I pretty much steal my food together, and sneak into houses and stables at nights to sleep."

"Matthew, I had no idea, I'm so sorry." Johanna said, putting a hand on Matthews shoulder and squeezing it. He put her hand on top of hers, squeezing back.

"Hey, it's not like you knew. But thank you for your concern."

"Will you be sneaking into someone's house again tonight?"

"That was the plan, yes."

"I won't allow it. Who knows where you'll end up? What if they find and catch you?"

"That won't happen. If I don't want to be found, I can't be found." He stated, a slightly proud tone in his voice.

"Maybe so," Johanna huffed, choosing to ignore that, "but I'd rather not risk it. You're staying with me tonight."

"So you changed your mind?"

"No. I just don't want your capture on my conscience. And I don't particularly like the idea of you stealing everything together either."

"There isn't much else I can do."

"Sure you can. My family owns a bakery. You can be our apprentice and become a productive member of society and make your own money, so you won't have to steal that of others." She stated matter-of-factly.

"I…"

"Consider that your way of making it up to me. With you at the bakery I'll have more time to spend in the garden, and mom won't have to keep dragging me away. What do you say?"

Matthew didn't know what to say, so he did the only thing he could at that moment. He pulled her into another hug, holding her close to his body.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

* * *

 **A/N:** At first I wanted to make a RRH parody, and then it turned serious. And so long! What the hell. But I kinda like it. Sorry if it's a bit random. Matt was supposed to be a wolf before he decided to be an orphan. And I'm too lazy too change it. I'm a lousy author TT_TT.

Well, that was it for this NedCan thingie. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you all had just as much fun reading it. Leave a review if your so inclined, and I'll see you all for the next story :D.


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